1:1s Handbook
We've been doing 1:1s since Day 1 at Slite. They take time but are the meetings with the best ROI so far.
Summary
Why 1:1s are so important?
At Slite, 1 on 1 meetings are a productive time to align on goals, give and receive feedback, and keep our business moving forward.
One-on-ones also provide meaningful space for us to connect more deeply with teammates, understand viewpoints, and build a caring and enjoyable workplace. For managers, it is a great space to share feedback, create a safe space for exploration and care about their direct reports and their career development.
As our business is scaling, we believe that our 1 on 1 meetings can do wonders in helping us cultivate an engaged and happy company.
Coaching and active listening
Communication skills for managers are crucial. Something often forgotten though is that communication is not just about talking, and in coaching it's about 70-80% of listening. So how to be a good listening? How can we create an environment that's open and safe? These questions are super important to start coaching someone and help them develop.
Many leaders jump right in teaching someone new skills. And that's a missed opportunity, often it doesn't get to results you're after. What the person needs is really to have a connection and safe space first. And you can do it really quickly.
To guide us, we can use a model called FROM. It's a guide of how to start coaching someone. So before we start teaching someone, we should learn something about their background.
→ F stands for futureIf we start coaching someone, we want to know where they want to go in the future. As a leader, we want to know what they want to learn, where they want to take their career, their relationship, and overall where people are heading.→ R stands for realityWe want to know what's going on in the person's career right now. Where the gap? This will lead to understanding how we, as a coach can help them bridge the gap.→ O stands for obstaclesWhat obstacles they are facing (or might face in the future).→ M stands for meaningIf we really want to understand what gets the person excited, what do they really gain from getting there? Usually, money is not the only reason. If we can understand this, it will help us open a bigger window into their motivation and help us really connect.
Regular weekly 1:1s should be different from work sessions
There is quite a big difference between operational work session and a true 1on1. Even though it may be really hard to differentiate work and day-to-day tasks and reporting we should try to have a separate space and time for each of these. The danger of merging them is that we'll end up talking way more about work as it's usually what's on our minds and it's easier.
Real 1 on 1 is for
Building trust and connection between employee <> manager
Feedback sharing both ways, both recognition and correction
Coaching and mentoring
Help your employee prioritize and manage their workload
Having a dedicate space to just listen (try to make it >60%). The manager should ask open questions and leave plenty of space to listen openly creating a safe space.
Career development. We should have space to talk about career progression, employee's goals, things they should learn to keep progressing.
Work sessions or update meetings
Aim to align on work activities, follow up on OKRs and work goals
Manager helps unblock the employee if needed
Advice on specific work related aspects
Reporting and updates
Helping employee with technical aspects of the job
How to's
Preparation
1:1s are mentee time 
! Mentees prepare the agenda (mentor have n 1:1s, mentees 1 → mentees have better vision + more time). Here are good elements to include:
! Mentees prepare the agenda (mentor have n 1:1s, mentees 1 → mentees have better vision + more time). Here are good elements to include:new ideas to push and challenge
things that you want to do or that you don't want to do and need to be discussed
longer term goals
feedback for manager including the negative (there's a way to give productive negative feedback, the Radical Candor book is a great resource about this)
When
frequency: no less than 1 every 2 weeks for a manager:direct report
length: it's the most precious time in our calendars, it can last up to 1 hour if there are useful things to bring up, 30 minutes if less is needed
time of the day: avoid having a 1:1 at a time of the day where your energy is lower
When can manager give feedback
Positive feedback can either be shared to the whole team or/and during 1:1s.
Negative feedback ideally should be treated on the spot (or fast) and ideally in person.
Dos for successful 1:1s
Use one of the first 1on1 meetings to really get to know each other and understand specific working styles and preferences. Here's a template for the very first 1on1.
Don't cancel. The easiest way to communicate to employees that they're not important is to cancel their 1on1s, no matter what the reason. If a conflict comes up, try to reschedule, and communicate.
Create a shared workspace folder for the weekly 1on1s and any kind of information sharing. Show example of adding discussion points and questions before the meeting.
When starting the meeting, take a few minutes to connect. Don't start 1on1s by getting into work details straight away. Encourage them to drive the agenda, and ask them how they are doing overall, how they feel, what's their mood.
Be transparent and honest. By encouraging your employees to raise real concerns you're going to get some tough questions. If you can't answer them, tell your employee that. If they point out a problem, try to be open and accept it. Try to avoid, "yes, but" and follow more of "yes, good point". Do not shut them down!
Discuss career development. Every month try to have a higher-level discussion about the employee's career and satisfaction and where they should be focusing on their growth. Check-in on what the employees' specific goals are and what they think will make them satisfied in their jobs in the coming months. You can use career levels to help guide the discussion.
Ask for course correction. Every couple 1on1s ask: "What could I be doing better as a manager?" You can get some really great guidance this way, and it does wonders to create trust and open environment for feedback sharing both ways.
Give course correction. Performance issues grow over time. Try to spot patterns early and give gentle feedback to reverse performance issues. Strengthen the tone of your feedback the longer the performance issue persists.
Take notes. There are few words to dread more in a 1 on 1 meeting than hearing your manager say, “I’m sorry. What did we talk about last time?”
Close the meeting by talking about the next steps. Without action, there is no progress. Without progress, there’s no change. And if nothing changes, your direct report is going to get discouraged.
Templates
Resources